


chasing each other blind

by evamarie124



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Akaashi Keiji is a Good Friend, CEO kozume kenma, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Post-Break Up, YouTuber Kozume Kenma, kuroo moves away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evamarie124/pseuds/evamarie124
Summary: Kenma and Kuroo have an unfinished past that hurts a bit too much for either of them to relive, let alone get closer from. is it closer they both seek or something more.
Kudos: 3





	1. chapter 1

Kenma was known for his professionalism when it came to his careers. Although being only 25 he still managed to become a stock trader, pro gamer, youtuber, and CEO of his own company, all while being enrolled in university. His friends that he still keeps in touch with from his high school volleyball days joke constantly about how if he hates getting tired he probably shouldn't have as many careers as he has. Though It doesn't bother him, getting tired or worn out (which happens more then he would like to admit) is a small price to pay for being able to do the things he loves and actually has a passion for, unlike in high school when he would only do things half heartedly, except for video games of course and maybe volleyball. Now he is successful and content with his life even though there has been something nagging him for a while now.

It spikes whenever he goes out to brunch with Akaashi and Bokuto or dinner with Shoyo and Kageyama. 

Loneliness 

Kenma likes to think he's not the same isolated person that he was throughout his childhood, but old habits die hard and constantly seeing his two main friends always with their significant other, and if not with them they always manage to bring them up. Akashi was much more wary of this especially after Kenma confided his feelings about it towards him a while ago not wanting to keep the overwhelming emotions to himself any longer. Bokouto does come up in a few of their conversations simply because the pair live together and it would be hard to leave him completely out of the picture.

Shoyo on the other hand doesn't necessarily have the same filter Keiji has, constantly sharing stories of how he and the rival volleyball player had been keeping score of each other's wins and how he pushes him to work harder all the time. This kenma doesn't mind since he is sponsoring Shoyo and should probably be up to date on his volleyball career as well as his boyfriends, especially since they have been public since the beginning. But when it starts to get domestic and more into their personal relations Kenma can't help but feel that ache in his heart at the fact he doesn't have anyone to share the same experiences with. 

“You really should try to find someone even if it is short term”

Him and Akashi had decided to go out for drinks that Saturday night, Kenma had just finished a six hour stream on his youtube channel kodzuken which was bordering ten million subscribers and he wanted to keep up his new streaming schedule until he hit that mark. 

“Kenma staying up until four in the morning every night isn't healthy no matter what you're doing it for, distracting yourself for the inevitable loneliness in your life or trying to reach ten mil.” 

With a roll of his eyes Kenma retorts “ First of all that was a bit harsh don't you think, and second how will hooking up with a bunch of random people help me with that.” 

He knows that's not what Keiji means, the ex setter was too good at reading people and situations. “ Kenma you know that's not what I meant, looking for someone could give a new spark to your life that you don't already have, especially since you've settled into the same routine for what seems like years now. And then dating someone even if you both know it's not going to be endgame will bring you some sort of fulfillment and you will be warmed up for the prospect of a serious committed relationship.”

He hates that Akashi has to be this reasonable, but it's true. Once Kenma found a routine that worked which let him do all the things he decided he needed in his life, that's what he stuck to. He admits in the beginning of his intense career path, trying to figure out what he had time for, what was more important then other things it was all new and exciting even if it was stressful. Now that he's been at it for almost five years his days might as well be copy and paste with a few exceptions, like when he would visit Shoyo wherever his next big game was, or a company gala (which he didn't understand since he never planned or authorized them, yet they happen every year and he just shows up), maybe he takes a mental break so that he doesn't implode with all the work he's given himself, and even then those last two days at most. 

Oh and visiting Shoyo and Akashi whenever he had any time or else they would find a way into his condo on their own. 

Tonight was way off of his regular schedule of getting up after way to few hours of sleep, going to the office or working from his condo for most of the day until he either comes home around six (the latest he's come home was not at all much to his assistants dismay so that doesn't happen much anymore after he got yelled at for at least ten minutes) he would then get a lunch of instant ramen or forget about eating completely, the boy would be malnourished if it wasn't for the amount of convenience store food he would eat when he worked and was streaming. After he got through his coursework for the day this would leave him at around ten to start whatever filming, streaming, or editing he had for his channel. If it was a stream chances are kodzuken would have his fans up until three or four in the morning. Then he would try to sleep which he could usually pass out after his exhausting days then start it all over again. 

“I know what you mean Keiji, even if I wanted to, my head wouldn't let me, I have a huge reputation whether i want to admit to it or not so I kinda have to care about if i'm being labeled as someone who just sleeps around or uses people. You know how the press is.”

“Yes I know but nothing out of the ordinary has happened with you recently so the press should be off your back for a while, also I thought you didn't care since you do have a media team specifically for this reason.” he gave out with a sigh

“ I don't care what the public thinks for most things but when it comes to other people thats different, it's a whole other human that has a life and everything,” kenma had put a lot of thought into what having a relationship would be like in his position and it never seemed like something anyone would be comfortable with. “ I also don't know who I could trust.”

Trust is a huge thing for Kenma, his position puts him as a highly famous person with an extremely loyal fanbase and lots of money. The fact that he acts so casual in public also adds to how toxic people could slip into his social circle if he wasn't careful. And he never wanted to get hurt from something he could have avoided… again. 

“Hmm” Akashi had let out a light hum mixed with a sigh, one that Kenma had heard many times. “ I don't want you to shoot this comment down again like you have before but like i've always said you don't need to respond if you really don't feel like it.”

Immediately Kenma knew what was coming and he couldn't run from it anymore.

“Do you think this is all from Kuroo leaving to America?” Kenma couldn't say anything; he just sat there at the bar on the verge of tears as he always ended up once Kuroo and his abrupt parting was mentioned. 

“You know you have every right to be mad at him, I get you dont talk about this at all so you must overthink about it a lot.”

How the hell was he that perceptive? Kenma had spent almost every second that he wasn't swarmed with his daily life asking himself the same questions he knew he would never get answered.

“Why did he leave me?” 

“Was it my fault, did I do something wrong?”

“Will you ever come back to me or have you moved on?.... Should I move on?”

The drinks and calm paced club scene was completely forgotten by Akashi who was now being extremely tentative towards the heartbroken boy crying in front of him. The heartbroken boy at the same time trying not to look like a total mess in a club that they would certainly get kicked out of if too much of a scene occurred.

“Ha..” Kenma managed a bitter chuckle in between his gentle sobs “It's sad isn't it, he left over three years ago and he's still what my entire life revolves around, him leaving was the reason I started overworking myself just so I could forget about him and why he left me. Well actually I don't know why he left me, that's what I'm trying to avoid! If he had just talked to me I wouldn't be this pathetic getting four hours of sleep every night, not trusting anyone anymore because I know they're just going to leave me and only having two friends since all the others talk about him all the time and I can't stand it!”

He was yelling, not loud enough to get kicked out but they definitely got a few unwanted glances.

“Kenma you are not pathetic, you two where in love and nothing can change that, he left on his own decision, he left without telling you anything on his own decision, he never reached out to you first for a whole year on his own decision. He did all of that, everything you did after was because of what he did and you had every right to what you did even if it isn't healthy, you never got the closure you needed. The fact that you've tried unnaturally blocking him out of your life was because of how terribly he hurt you that first year he was gone. Now after blocking him out you think you need him since your life surrounds the idea of forgetting him and everything that reminds you of him, including all your mutual friends” Akashi had to take a deep breath after that

“but look at me Kenma” 

This whole time the half blond had been staring at his untouched second drink, listening, but not daring to look the other boy in the eyes with the feeling it would just make his tears start up again. With the light brush of fingers kenmas chin was tilted up to face a pair of sympathetic yet serious eyes.

“You don't need him, you need his closure. Understand.” 

It seemed to be meant as a question but came off as a statement which Kenma needed. 

. . . .

Once out of the cab and at the door of Kenmas condo the gamer felt like he could properly breath for the first time in a while.

“Are you sure you don't want me to come in, I could spend the night if you need it.”

“I'm fine, really,” after a skeptical glance was thrown at him he added, ‘ I just want some time to myself, to think clearly… for once.”

“Alright if you need anything don't be afraid to call”

“ I will, also.. Keiji?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you, for everything”

The soft smile on Akaashis face was enough for him to know why he never says thank you to his closest friend, its unspoken.

“ Of course kenma, i'll always be here for you, get a good night's sleep.”

Once Keiji left and he received a confirmation text he got home safe. Kenma took up his advice and after what seemed like three years got a proper amount of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this thank you for reading this first part and I haven't started on any other chapters so feedback and possible ideas are welcome!


	2. chapter 2

Waking up for Kenma has always been a process, even in high school getting out of bed took at least 20 minutes out of his morning, the same still stands for today and every other day in his adult life. 

After Stretching and kicking off a few layers of the many blankets piled on his thin frame his phone was grabbed off the nightstand. The first thing he saw was a few emails, but what caught him off guard was the multiple text messages from the old friends he ended up cutting (almost) completely out of his life.

. . . .  
Morisuke 

6:36  
Hey kenma i know we haven't talked in a while but  
there's something i think you should know regarding kuroo

Just text me back if you can 

Lev 

6:53  
Kenma!! We haven't seen each other in forever and we  
need to sometime but anyway it's about Kuroo and I think  
You want to hear about it sooner than later

Keiji

7:26 1 Missed call 

7:28  
I'm not sure if you've heard or not and I thought it would  
be better to tell you in person or at least over the phone 

Kuroos back from the states for the summer 

Bokuto told me about it after he got off a call with him this morning  
Hinata knows as well, let us know if you need anything 

“Well this is just great” 

Something like this was definitely not what kenma had planned to happen, not now or ever really, but looking back on it it did only make sense. In the beginning of his time without Kuroo, Kenma would stalk his social media way more than he would ever admit to but from what he saw the ravenette was as happy and content as ever. Kenma honestly believed he would stay in the states forever and he now realized how stuipd he was. All of Kuroos family was here in Tokyo and all of his school friends are in japan as well, it would only make sense for him to visit eventually. 

This didn't help Kenma from feeling like it was to soon 

“What the hell are you thinking, you don't even have to go see him, he's just going to be in the same area as you hanging out with friends you haven't seen in 2 years. It's going to be fine.” 

Keiji

7:28  
I'm not sure if you've heard or not and I thought it would  
be better to tell you in person or at least over the phone 

Kuroos back from the states for the summer 

Bokuto told me about it after he got off a call with him this morning  
Hinata knows as well, let us know if you need anything 

8:12  
Do you know if he's staying all summer ?

Hes arriving in a week or so I believe and should be leaving  
Back to Chicago mid August 

So only three months 

I can already tell this is going to be a long three months 

It can't be that bad but if it is you know i'm here for you

I know and I applaud you for that 

After that conversation with Akaashi he was definitely willing to stay in bed all day and it being Sunday he very much had that opportunity, but before deciding on that he needed to text back the other two.

Morisuke 

6:36  
Hey Kenma I know we haven't talked in a while but  
there's something I think you should know regarding Kuroo

Just text me back if you can 

8:20  
Sorry i just saw your text right now but I know about Kuroo  
Coming back for the summer

I'm assuming that's what you wanted to tell me

Yeah i'm guessing Akaashi told you since Bokuto knows 

Also thought you should know he's staying with his parents  
for the first couple weeks or so, but then he's renting a place  
for the rest of the time 

Okay thanks for letting me know  
No problem 

Also don't be afraid to reach out i know levs been on my ass  
about wanting to see you 

I will if i need to and i'll try to get lev off you a bit he  
text me as well  
Alright i'll text ya later 

. . . . 

Kenma internaily thanked Yaku for letting him know about Kuroos housing arrangements purely for the fact that their old neighborhood and his current residence were only a few train stops away and that now he had to be cautious of who joins what train. Already exhausted and feeling defeated, Kenma decided to take the day off and save any extra work he had for Monday, but not before texting back lev. He wasn't necessarily dredging but the half Russian was known for his loud personality and the fact that he hadn't talked to the boy who had clinged to him all of high school and most of their adult years made him worry about the length of the conversation. 

Lev  
6:53  
Kenma!! We haven't seen each other in forever and we  
need to sometime but anyway it's about Kuroo and I think  
You want to hear about it sooner than later

8:32  
Yeah i've heard about Kuroo coming back for  
the summer

I just talked to Yaku and Keiji Akaashi from Fukurōdani  
9:02  
Oh yeah I remember them! And it's good that you know  
I remember you guys don't talk anymore which is kinda sad but  
stuff happens i guess 

Also now that we've talked we should see each other in person  
It's been way too long and everyone misses you!

Yeah i miss you guys too maybe we can plan something eventually 

Great! I've got to go but i'll talk to you later 

. . . .

“That definity didn't go as bad as I thought it would, I keep forgetting he's a busy person now.”

That day off is soon one of many kenma will come to realize once his old lover finds a way back into his life.


End file.
